Identity is something I have been thinking about lately. Becoming a mother was something I was looking forward to, but it has not changed me in the ways I thought. I guess I assumed I would develop an endless amount of patience, and lose my ability to care what other people think. Let me tell you that neither of those things have happened in my new role as a mama.

I still have the same amount of patience as I did before I had Remi (I will admit it is not much and I am working on that). I am maybe even more self-conscious of what people think of me now. So my ability to love has grown exponentially with motherhood but other things have stayed the same.

I keep asking myself if this is who I want to be. All these negative things like fear, anger, anxiety feel like they are just welling up in me. I don’t want to become this person who is so consumed with what others think that I lose myself.

Being so concerned about what other people think causes me to shape-shift sometimes. I tend to act like the people I am around or like the people I see through different media outlets. I worry so much about people caring that I lose sight of who I am.

So if fear does not define me. If other people do not define me. If motherhood does not define me. What does?

The Bible says that my identity is in Christ. So what does that mean? How can my personality be another person?

To me, it says that honoring the Lord is what defines me. Obedience makes me whole. Scripture gives me the blueprints in which to live my life.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 says: “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (NIV)

There you go. Blueprints. Joy, prayer, and gratitude are the defining qualities that make up an obedient life. Yes, it is much harder to live it than just write it out, but how many times has prayer or giving thanks or laughing through that pain gotten you through a situation?

We all have it in us to live out or become 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18. It is a conscious effort I have to face every day. Choosing joy, remembering to pray, and practicing gratitude do not always come to mind when my daughter fights her naps or things just don’t go my way. Thank the Lord for grace upon grace. Little by little, God is showing me that my identity comes from Him.

I believe our truest selves are when we are engaging in those three activities daily.

So goodbye fear, anger, anxiety, and the opinions of others. Joy, prayer, and gratitude are my new defining quality traits.